My oh my!!!  Have I been busy!!!  The last few weeks have been quite interesting, busy, and full of change.  <sarcasm> Apparently, I do not like it when things stay too consistent. </sarc>

Where to begin?  Me, of course!!!  I have been quite relaxed with myself when it comes to diet and exercise.  As anyone who follows me on Facebook or here on my little site knows, I have struggled with weight, and I continue to struggle.  I have to say that the last year has seen the most change for the better than any other year, and I am quite pleased with where I am.  I am 50 pounds lighter, and while I have not lost any more weight in the last couple of months, I have not gained anything significant either, so I am content.  Honestly…  I dropped weight really quickly.  It was right at the limits of what is considered healthy weight-loss.  I went from obese to moderately overweight (according to the experts that use the incredibly accurate (but pointless) Body Mass Index (BMI)).  After going to the gym for 6 months at a frequency of 3 times per week and consuming only lean meats, whole grains, and the occasional sugary coffee (excluding, of course, my now famed “cheat day”), I needed a break.  I needed to be flexible with myself. I needed to say, “It’s okay to go out with friends!  Eat that pizza!  Have some General Tso’s Chicken!”  So I did.  And naturally, I gained a pound or two…  but what I noticed is that, with the exception of pizza, I could not eat like I used to.  I couldn’t clean the plate.  I was full on less, I enjoyed vegetables more, and I had habits of choosing smarter foods.  My food lifestyle had actually changed!!!  I am now to the point where I can maintain which means I am no longer afraid to commit to losing the remaining weight.  If there is one thing that any once-fat (or once-fatter) person can tell you is that there is one fear above all others that can control your weight destiny:  the fear of gaining it all back!  Why waste the time, effort, and money on losing weight when you know, or at least think you know, that you will gain every single ounce of it back?!  (and then some…)  I was happy eating bad food; I loved the taste, smell, and texture of fried chicken, pizza, burgers, Chinese take-out, pasta, burritos, etc…  but I was not a happy person when I put on the XXL shirt or size 40 pants.  So a choice was made.  I want to be a happy person when I look at myself.  I think that is more important.  Anywho, I am rambling…  all this is to say that because I know now that my food lifestyle has been irrevocably altered, I am no longer afraid to commit to the remaining loss because I no longer fear gaining it back.  I am now in full control, both consciously and subconsciously.  I am at 224 lbs…  exactly 50 pounds smaller than I was last November… and I have stayed here since June.  Come January 1, I will weight 190 lbs.  I have 34 lbs to lose.  It is time to get serious and get going.

Next on the menu??  Work!  (yay!  Food reference!!)

So, I decided to quit Kroll.  My last day with them was last Monday, and on last Wednesday, I started working at a small healthcare information service provider named ‘eDoc4u’ which is short for “Electronic Doctor For You.”  We offer a service to guide people in making smarter health choices based on information and counsel provided by doctors. Today was day 5 and I have to say that I can already begin to feel the culture shock.  It is small…  REALLY SMALL…  Any given day there are less than 10 people in the office.  I am on a team of 2 developers and an architect.  I sit two doors down from the CEO and I am so close to the product, clients, and administration that I am both scared and excited by the potential impact I can have on this business.  I like what they do… and I love that I am getting in here when they are making long-term decisions on how to do it better!!!  I have learned that while I felt overworked and overwhelmed at Deloitte, I really, REALLY liked making a positive change in the direction of that team and that business.  When the time came for me to wrap those changes up, and I decided to move to Kroll, I thought that all I wanted was an 8-5 developer job where I worked on various items, tickets, and issues with a team without much visibility into the bigger picture.  My main role was not to make an impact… it was to be a part of a team where no one really made an impact.  And, for some, that is a great fit…  some people enjoy being in the background and love just being a fixture in the process.  But that is not me.  I want to make a better process, I want to make an impact, and I crave attention.  I want to be noticed, I want to make decisions, and I want to lead a team in more than just the “big picture.”  I want to build a bigger picture.  Now, admittedly, I am not as skilled a software engineer as some of my current and previous colleagues, but what I AM really good at is learning…  and I learn quickly.  I learn not just the words and the definitions, but the context and the intent.  Why as opposed to how; concept instead of syntax.  And I love applying those concepts and whys in a way that might challenge the status quo.  And when I see that my ideas really make a difference, and I can start achieving success with my ideas, I have a great sense of pride.  Not because I “did” something but because I “started” something.  I know today that a lot of the ways I did things live on at the Walmart where I was once employed.  Workflow and process at Deloitte that I crafted are still being used…  and both of those facts make me very happy and proud.  And I can’t really say that about my work at Kroll.  Sure, I made a good application there that they are still using, but it did not change anything.  It did not make things better the same way my changes at the other places made things better, and I think that is why I never really felt at home there.  As silly as it seems, I felt right at home at Walmart.  I knew the business like no other, and I was good at what I did.  At Deloitte, while what we did was new to me at the time, I learned that business quickly and really got good… then I made an impact.  I  felt truly at home… like I belonged there…  like what we did was an extension of me.   I did not belong at Kroll.  It is too early to tell whether or not I will like what is going on here at eDoc, but I can tell you this:  The opportunity to really make an impact on this company is right there for me to take, and I plan on taking that opportunity…  and that brings me tremendous comfort.  I just hope that the story of “Brett and eDoc” is a collection of books and not just another short-story.

And the final course…  (anyone else hungry now?)

Guys…  or more specifically one guy.  Because this is a public blog, I will keep this pretty generic, but what I will write is that I had one of the best first “dates” I have ever had last night.  It was less a real “Will you go on a date with me?” “thing” but after the evening got going, it certainly began to feel that way.  While it is too early to tell how I really feel, I can say that there were the beginnings of emotions that I had long forgotten about.  He and I went out to dinner, talked a lot, went to get a drink at a café, talked some more, stopped at a hookah bar, talked even more, then took a relaxing stroll  at the park, talking still.  The things we have in common are too numerous to list, and the universe seemed to approve of the pair.  The weather was beautiful, warm with a nice breeze, clean, clear, and quiet.  And the end of the night was a moment the likes of which might be seen in a classic Disney fairy-tale (lol… fairy).  The evening ended precisely at 12:00 AM with a kiss… as the bells at Vanderbilt rang in the distance. 

And that is all I got.  That should get you up to speed with me and where I have been the last few weeks since my last post.

I am looking forward to this weekend… several close friends and I are planning a trip to Gatlinburg.  Can’t wait!!!