Brett H Perkins – Murfreesboro, Tennessee

My thoughts… My experiences… My life.

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    Brett Perkins
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Wow… What A Weekend!!! :)

Posted by bretthperkins on May 17, 2010

So, this last weekend was probably one of the best on record thus far.  This weekend was the first ever Nashville in Harmony “Away Game,” if you will.  We were invited to be guests of a sister choir, Voices of Kentuckiana, for a concert on Saturday evening.  I decided that I was going to make a mini vacation out of this trip and planned on going up a day early.

I took the day off on Friday.  I don’t know about you, but I do not like to be in a hurry when I pack…  I forget things that way.  So I elected to work a little harder earlier in the week to get my work done at work on Thursday.  I got up, I got ready, and I got packed…  then headed up to Nashville to meet Linda, a fellow singer, to drive her up to Louisville.  Linda is a very sweet and intelligent lady.  We ate lunch at the Demos’ on Second Avenue and hit the road.  Linda has been a family counselor and has a degree in psychology, so I have to say that it was very nice to talk to a counselor for the 9 hours or so we would spend together on Friday.  Typically, the drive is about 3 hours long, but Friday was especially longer as there was an intense storm just north of Nashville as we were leaving, and we got stuck on I-65 for a little over an hour.  Anyway, Linda and I broke out some Phase 10 cards and began to play while we waited to the situation to change.  There were a few people that thought they could just turn around in the median, but as hard as it was raining, that median was nothing more than mud with a thin layer of grass.  Needless to say, some people were the definition of FAIL sitting in the middle of the highway spinning out.  I laughed.  We got moving again, hit a Starbucks in Bowling Green, and got to Louisville around dinner time.  We ate at a really cool Mexican place in downtown Louisville then I took Linda to her hotel.  After that, I called up my host, Michael, and headed to his place to change and go out for the night.  We all went to a bar named “Starbase Q” ( I am sure you can figure out what the Q stands for. :p )  It was Broadway Night, so that was fun.  I put in my requests, you know “Defying Gravity”, “Cell Block Tango”, and something else that I can’t remember…  0:) It was fun singing and hanging out; I met a lot of new people and had a really good time.  We got home a little after 2:00 (3:00 their time) and I crashed.  Good Times.  :)

Saturday…  Was awesome.  I slept in a little bit…  Maybe until 11:00 or so, I don’t remember.  We all got up around the same time and headed to a Pizza Place near Michael’s house.  The food was SOOOO good, but SOOO bad for me.  So I behaved.  I only ate a little bit. :)   Then after lunch, we all headed to Michael’s house where another Michael and I decked out the deck with lights for the party and cleaned up a bit before heading to Ballard High, the concert venue, for rehearsal.  We got there, met some of the folks from their choir, and then rehearsed.  We went through the concert program and we all quickly noticed that one song was missing:  “Why We Sing.”  For those that may not know, “Why We Sing” is the signature song of our choir.  We sing it at every concert… and Kristin, a fellow singer, and I shared a solo/duet on this song.  So when we learned that we were not singing that song, she and I exchanged glances, as though we were both saying to one another, “WTF!?”  After rehearsal concluded, she and I met up and discussed what had happened, and we both asked each other the obvious question, “Did you know we were not singing that?”  Of course, both of us had the same answer: “No.”  So, at an appropriate moment, I flagged down Don, the director, and asked if it was on the program for next week. (There is another performance of this joint concert in Nashville this Saturday, May 22 at 7:30  *Buy Tickets*)  Don answered, with Kristin present, that we were not singing that song then either.  Again, Kristin and I were surprised, but I just thought to myself, “Eh… worse things have happened.” Of course, right after that, I was a little bummed.

I have been looking forward to not only the performance with the group, but also singing that wonderful song with Kristin for our family and friends.  Let’s be real, neither me nor Kristin want to take any focus off the choir, but it is human and acceptable for us to be excited about being in a special role with the choir, and to be told at the last minute that this was no longer the case felt a little bit like a punch in the gut.  For me, there were many mixed emotions.  I was, naturally, disappointed, but it wasn’t really a big deal.  Both my mom and my dad had been able to attend concerts where Kristin and I sang it, but my friends had not, and some of them are coming this Saturday, so I was bummed about that…  Kristin, on the other hand, had a more disappointing situation.  Her mother planned on coming up from Florida to see her sing the solo, and of course to see the rest of the choir, but especially to see her sing the solo.  We talked a little, shared some Wheat Thins, and went our separate ways to have dinner and prepare for the concert.

For dinner, I elected to just get something small and quick, so I went to a drive-thru, got something quick, and headed back to Michael’s house.  I was still bummed, so I ate and took a nap on the back deck.  Let me stop here and tell you about Michael’s house.  It is a renovated older home in an established neighborhood.  The road was quiet, the trees were tall and full, and the air was painted with the songs of birds.  In the back and to the side of his house, Michael has built a massive deck.  It extends roughly 15 feet back, then wraps around the side another 20 or so feet.  It was beautiful.  Along one side was the driveway and a garage and on the other side was a pond.  So after eating, with the sound of the pond and the birds, sleep was not difficult.  I had a great nap and slept off all those negative emotions that were a result of the news about our song.  After I woke up, I went upstairs, got ready, and talked to the guys.  In that conversation, they made note of my mood and asked if I was okay.  Of course, I was, but I did tell them that I was a little disappointed about not singing “Why We Sing.”  Apparently, no one else in the choir was aware that we were not singing it.  The machine began.  One person called another, then that person texted 2 more, then they called, then they texted…  etc.  From what I was able to gather, the person or two Kristin told did the same thing, and by that night, it was the topic of conversation back-stage.  I, internally, began freaking out.

I just knew that for each person saying that we should sing the song, there was another saying, likely, that Brett and Kristin just went whining about not getting to sing their solos.  I was afraid that, in only telling two people, that the situation would turn and make me, and Kristin, look bad, or childish.  I didn’t really know…  it all kinda died down that night as the concert progressed, and then resurface only briefly at the After Party.  But first, let me talk about the concert itself.  I have droned and droned about NOT singing ONE song that I better talk about the wonderful songs that both choirs sang.

Voices sang a different program than we did, some of the same theme and some of a different theme.  Our music was much more true to the theme of the night, “Songs of the British Isles,” but there music was no less wonderful.  They started with Bohemian Rhapsody, sang a few more, I can’t really remember them all, and then ended with their state-song, “My Old Kentucky Home.”  They sounded great, the solos were better than average, and overall, I think they did wonderfully.  After they sung their state-song, we began with our state-song, “When It’s Iris Time In Tennessee.”  That song is simply beautiful.  We went through our catalog, culminating in our best song of the night, “Electricity.”  Now, for this song…  I do not know what happened, but it is like the spirit of the song ignited us, a lot like the actual lyric of the song.  I had never really appreciated the beauty of that song before that performance.  In one of the lines, the song reads, “And then I feel it move me, like a burning deep inside:  something bursting me wide open… impossible to hide!”  And I can only speak for me in terms of my feelings, but from the volume, the passion, and Don’s emotional conducting, I know that something moved us and moved Don…  It was beautiful, powerful, and something that I have not felt in a choir before.  I hope that this moment is re-lived on Saturday.  We sang a few more songs then, at the end, performed our largest numbers:  “Imagine” by John Lennon and “Love Is All You Need”, a Beatles Medley.  Those two songs were simply amazing.  In total, over 165 people were on stage singing or playing.  The band was hot, the brass ensemble was hot, the choir was hot, and the song was amazing.  And then…  we forgot the words to one song in the middle.  :(   Oh well, it was a long song, and I doubt anyone really noticed, but it is what it is.  At the end of the concert, the audience gave a resounding standing ovation as we bowed and exited the stage.  It was a proud moment for me and for the choir, and it was a moment that I had all but forgotten since my days at Overton.  Sure, I sang at MTSU, but I never had a connection to the group.  Here, in Nashville In Harmony, I have that connection, and I love it!

So, time check:  When are we now?  The concert is over and it is time to party!  I was the first to arrive to Michaels, so I quickly changed and headed down to greet the guests as they arrived.  Car after car after car poured onto his street.  I talked, met more people, had a sing-off with one of their singers on some broadway song, I can’t remember which one. (I won).  And, let’s see… I ate like a TON of M & M’s.  MMM… so good.  Over 100 people had to have been there, and it lasted until 3:00 AM, however, I was in bed WELL before then…  I was beat!  I headed up at like 1:00 AM and then woke up in time to have one last meal with my new friends.  We tried several places, but ultimately wound up at Waffle House.  It was good food and more good times.  I hit the road and got back to Nashville around 7:00 PM.

I came home to a sparkling clean townhome, thank you Eric, and unpacked, did laundry, went to the store, and had dinner.  While I was gone, though, Eric and his dad had been busy.

This Friday is Eric’s 25th Birthday (Yes… 25.  Whatever he tells you just nod and say “OK, Eric” and rest assured that you know that in the end, he is really 25!).  I’m pretty excited about it.  Around 40 people are expected to come by, and the party is themed.  He chose to use the TV Show “Lost” as the theme, so we now have a lot of things at the place that fit in with that theme.  We are going to spend the week decorating it up and making it all come together.  It will be fun!  I am already settled on what I am going to wear, although I don’t know what I am going to get him for his birthday.  He is hard to shop for and stay in budget!  :)

Sheesh…  this might be the lengthiest blog entry to date (2,155 words!)…  Maybe I should have published it in parts!!!

Anywho…  that’s all for now.

-=brett=-

Posted in Commentary, Friends, Thought, Travels | Leave a Comment »

We… Are Nashville

Posted by bretthperkins on May 6, 2010

It is human nature to question, ponder, and converse when challenging situations are faced…  And today, I feel compelled to respond to some of the topics of those conversations surrounding the Great Tennessee Floods of 2010.

National Media

I have only one question here:  Where were you!?

I understand that there were other things going on in the world, and I am by no means attempting to minimize their severity or importance, however, I feel compelled to point out that, at the very least, the coverage of this tragedy (that will likely become known as the Great Tennessee Flood) warranted equal coverage.  Period.  I am aware of many disasters that have befallen people of this nation:  the Northridge Earthquake, Andrew, Katrina, Hugo, New England Blizzards, Valdez, the BP Gulf Spill, and many, many more.  There are too many to list.  When these things happened, you were there for them.  You told me that people were in trouble, you told me how I could help, and you showed me what was happening.  During the days from May 1 to May 3, a disaster of equal, if not greater, importance to some of the events mentioned above unfolded in my hometown.  I am lucky, my family is lucky, we are not suffering and we were spared…  but tens of thousands more of us were not as lucky…  and we needed you.  We needed you and you were not there.  You abandoned us and you hurt us.  You could have brought the world the images of our plight.  The country could have been made aware of our dire situation and relief efforts from afar could have been orchestrated because those that could have cared would have been aware…  because of you, though, they were not made aware, and the help they could have offered may never come to be…  because you were not there for us.

Local Media

I don’t know if it is possible to measure the number of lives you saved during our flood.  You were all right in there.  You told us where to go and what to avoid.  Because of you, those that could avoid the waters DID avoid the waters.  The death toll, today, stands at a tragic number somewhere around 30, but I guarantee that, without your diligence, coverage, and attentiveness, that number would be considerably higher.  As your stations, too, filled with water, you stayed on the air.  As the rain continued to fall, you kept the weather on screen.  You better believe that we noticed the fatigue in your eyes and we noticed the pain in your hearts, but you kept it going, you kept us going, and we are forever grateful for the wonderful service you gave us during this life-changing event.

First Responders

You are the heart and soul of all that is right in this world.  I don’t think that there are words in existence that can properly classify the amount of gratitude you deserve.  You are all heroes and you are all remarkable.  Thank you for doing what you do.

Neighbors

Where can I start?  We have seen tragedies in our lives.  We have seen what can happen when a neighborhood falls apart.  In nearly every disaster I can remember, stories of our neighbors have come to light, but those stories are of a different nature than the stories that we hear from our Tennessee neighbors.  The stories we have heard about other tragedies are about how our neighbors did not help, our neighbors became victims, our neighbors took advantage of the situation and stole (looted), etc…  Of course, I am not saying that every disaster has been overrun with negligence, looting, and crime, but a large portion of them have.  Not here, though.  Not in my home…  Not in Tennessee.  No.  Our neighbors looked this disaster right in the eyes with nary flinch or a cringe and we fought!  We did not sit on our roofs and wait for helicopters to get us.  We did not lie in the water in a helpless state.  We saw the water rise and we took initiative.  When we saw a neighbor that could not get out, we grabbed our boats and got them.  When our houses were filled with water, we did not sit and stare… we went next door to make sure they were okay!  After seeing this spirit, I believe that our state motto, or nickname, could very easily be changed to “The Good Neighbor State.”

Warning

I have seen a lot of people ask, “With all of this technology, where was the warning?”  This is a valid question, but the reality is this, folks:  We were warned about everything that we could be warned about.  There is no way that the terrific meteorologists could have known how much rain would have fallen.  They did the best they could!  It is relatively common to see warnings about where a hurricane will go, or the path a tornado will likely take, but like an earthquake or a blizzard, we were at the mercy of this planet, and we can only do the best we can do.  There quite simply was no possibility of a warning.  The good news, though, is that during the rain, we were updated often and accurately about where the next place to fill up might be, and because of the up-to-date reporting, lives were spared.

Blame

It is not constructive to lay blame on anyone.  The common places to which I see the fingers point are at the President, the National Media, and the Meteorologists.  None of them could have prevented this, and to only one of them should fingers be pointed:  National Media (read above).

The other two:  Meteorologists and the President have done, or are doing, the best they can.  See my Local Media section for what I think of the meteorologists.  As for the President:  He, within 3 days, signed proclamations declaring that the hardest hit counties in Tennessee be classified as Federal Disaster Areas and has made immediate funds available to rebuild.  This was fast, without glitch, and without question or event.  Sure, maybe he should come here to look first hand, but the logistics of that are difficult enough without having to do that in such a dire situation.  The real help comes with the money, and there was no delay.  We are getting what we need… now!  And I think that the Federal Government and the State Government deserve HUGE thumbs up for a job well done!  It is important to know that Federal Assistance can only come when the State handles the situation as well as it has, and kudos to Mr. Bredesen, and his staff, as well as the administrations of each impacted city for having things in place SO quickly to get this done!

Dams

The dams worked!  Plain and simple.  Now, if you are looking at images of Downtown Nashville, Franklin, Bellevue, Antioch, Hendersonville, Kingston Springs, or the other countless areas that were transformed from subdivisions to lakes, you may be a bit perplexed about my last statement.  Let me explain to you why I believe the dams worked.  The Cumberland River only crested at 52 feet.  Granted, that is a significant level…  But consider this.  52 feet is not the highest that this river has been.  It has approached 60 feet before.  And that level (correct me if I am wrong here) is prior to the extensive dam system that we have in place today.  Also consider that before this event, the record amount of rain to fall in a two-day period is just around 7 inches.  Now put those two things together.  If, at 7 inches, the river swelled to 60 feet, prior to dams, imagine what the river would have swollen to without those dams.  Using very simple math, 7 inches put the river at 60 feet, 20 feet above flood level, so it is conceivable that at 14 inches of rain (a rough average of this flood’s amount of rainfall), this event could have pushed the river to 70 plus feet.  This could have been a disaster the likes of which this country has not seen.  As tragic as this flood is, and I can report to you first-hand that this flood is tragic.  It would have been significantly more severe had the dams, and the U.S. Army Core of Engineers, not managed this situation the way they did.  The dams worked!

Moving On

There is a lot still to do and the Nashville that we all know and love has been fundamentally changed forever.  We cannot bring back those whom we have lost, but we can honor them.  We can honor them with every brick we lay.  We can honor them with every dollar we give to help rebuild.  We can honor them in volunteerism and activity… And we must honor them.

The buildings will come back… better than ever.  The music downtown will fill the air.  The Titans and the Predators will play on, and the singers on our stages will sing.

And the Opryland Hotel will once again be filled with those that wish to see what I now know to be truly one of the greatest cities to have ever existed.

All of this is true…  and all of this will be because…

We… Are Nashville.

Posted in Commentary, Friends, Thought | Leave a Comment »

Another Step in the Right Direction

Posted by bretthperkins on April 15, 2010

Ahhh… the things that sneak up on you and kick your ass…  I would say that I am surprised by my latest round of emotions… but I am not.  And in my quest to make a better me, it’s time to type out another problem.  This one is probably one with which I have had the most difficulties:  Self-Image and an Inferiority Complex.

I have been a bigger person since I can remember.  In school, being big came with comments and teasing.  We all know why fat people are teased…  but as I got older, the teasing stopped… at least on the outside.  On the inside, however, the voices kept on talking.  In every situation, I entered knowing that people were thinking one thing, and one thing only:  “God… He is FAT.”  I think that no one can see through that.  Then I think that because that is all they see, I have to try doubly hard to get noticed.  So that is what I have been doing.  Let me tell anyone in the same boat this one thing:  STOP and Stop NOW!!!  This just does not work.  Period.  The fact of the matter is this:  People are people and people will like other people for any reason known to God and man.  The ones that have requirements around who they like and who they want to meet hide in a lie that they just have a “preference” and that they are justified in discriminating and treating people badly when really they are just lazy.  They want what is easy…  and most of them are just that:  Easy.  Of course for years, I have based my value on what people like that say and hated myself for not being them, but I have also taken the time to observe what is happening with these people.  They move from one quick fling to the next.  Emotions are trampled, people are hurt (physically and mentally), diseases are spread, and in the end, people are still very much alone.  When a relationship is based, or built, solely from the physical characteristics of a person, what happens when that changes?  What if, God forbid, that person loses an arm in some freak accident, or becomes paralyzed, or gains a few pounds?  “It was a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.”  A foundation, when disturbed, will only lead to destruction of that upon which it was built, so it makes sense to me to build a foundation out of something that is strong, not feeble.  I concede that there are exceptions, and I am genuinely happy for those that have been able to achieve a relationship with meaning, true love, and value.  But my happiness for others ends there.  And my comparison to them ends now.  I am not them.  I have always wanted to be them… and to be honest, the attention and physical contact that comes with being them is still very much appealing, but I am glad that I am not them.

It is easy to get trapped, though…  On social sites geared toward meeting people to date the common sentiment is that the only person worth talking to is within certain boundaries.  I see the phrases like “must be HWP” (height-weight proportionate), “no chubs”, “must be fit”, etc…  and since a larger than average part of my search for a mate has taken place in this setting, I have essentially built a mechanism of real reinforcement for what my mind was telling me.  I believe(d) that I was not worthy of dating because I do not meet the standard lined up by the people on the sites.  And I know that is wrong.  Now, I am not going to stop using sites to meet people… I just realize now that the selection is what it is, and that true meaning will not come from passing anyone by based on their profile picture.  I am typically pretty open, but if I am being honest, I have passed people by based on their outward appearance.  I am a hypocrite for that, but it is what it is.  More often than not, though, I reply to messages… then when the conversation goes south, I get my answer to the question of whether or not I would like to meet that person.  And the overwhelming majority of times, I come to the answer of no.  Not because of how they look, but because of what they say (or don’t say).

Over the years, though, because I have felt so abandoned, I have made bad choices.  I have put myself into dangerous situations, and I have likely tarnished my name some with those within the community that know what I have done.  But that also stops now.  I cannot be that person anymore because I don’t need to be that person anymore.  I am not better than those that still make that choice…  I have just grown passed it.  And that is a good thing.

What do I do now?  I have no clue.  I suspect that it will take some time to re-train my brain into the reflex that I am the same or better, and not inferior.  I did not get here over-night.  My perspective, comparisons, and thoughts must reflect reality, not fantasy.  The reality is that I am no better or worse than anyone else out there.  I am different.  Maybe there is a rating system with all traits with a maximum score of 100.  My distribution is just different.  Where I am smarter, others are not.  Where I am less appealing (in the eyes of others), others are more appealing.  It is all relative and it is all subject to interpretation… but at the end of the day, I have to begin believing that I am right where I am supposed to be.  And I have to re-enforce my foundation so I am able to give the support and love to the person for whom I have neglected for so long:  Me.

-=brett=-

Posted in Commentary, Emo, Thought | Leave a Comment »

 
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