As many of you all now know, in 2008, California voters were asked to decide if gay and lesbian couples were allowed to marry. The historic results were very clear. 52% of those that voted did not approve of gay marriage; therefore gays in California are not allowed to marry. Of course, and as expected, the gay community and its supporters reacted. Tremendous disappointment and sadness swept the country as we realized that even today, in 2010, a majority of our fellow citizens – our neighbors, teachers, police officers, military personnel, family members, etc – cannot acknowledge that we have the same rights and privileges they are afforded. This week, a federal judge in California ruled that the passing of Proposition 8, California’s ban on same-sex marriage, is unconstitutional. Let us put aside for a second the argument. Let us forget about the outcome for a moment and just think about this. In California, the majority of voters do not want gays to marry. This is not just one legislator, a single rogue court justice, or another powerful politician. No, this represents a clear preference in the minds of the voters in California, and for the sake of argument, can be extended to include the remaining citizens of the United States.
Now… back on track, with the acknowledgment of this fact, that the majority has made a decision, now the debate gets hotter. Take a look at what I present in this post. Digest what I say and try to make the proper distinction between matters of religion, matters of governance, and matters of emotion. Our founding fathers put together our Constitution not to bind us to our government. It was not created to lay out every single law and dictate how we live. It was built to steer us into a very clear direction: a direction where the people of our nation are not subject to the horrors of our world’s troubled past; a direction where each person is equal and precious, protected and valuable. Our government is designed to allow the people to rise up and challenge the powers that be while we remain civil and largely at peace. It is from that perspective I write today and respond to some very important questions that have been raised in reaction to the events of California and its Proposition 8.
But aren’t we are a country of majority rule?
Yes. However, there are very clear limits on what the country can decide by vote. Those limits are defined, and continually redefined, in the U.S. Constitution. Specifically relating to the issues at hand is the 14th Amendment. Section 1 states:
“Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”
It is the responsibility of our Government, its officials, our representatives, and our citizens to uphold and defend this Constitution and the laws of our land above ALL other things.
With that said, we all (citizens of the United States) have a responsibility to act in accordance with this amendment. A law cannot be passed to limit the rights of any other citizen, and in the end, any attempt to dictate that a certain group be denied something that all other citizens are afforded is unconstitutional.
What about religion?
What about it? There is no question that certain religions, and perhaps the majority religion of our country (Christianity), have very clear direction on the issue of homosexuality, and by extension, gay marriage. But there is a common misconception that marriage originated as a religious relationship, or a religious-only affair. Marriage was created by government, or by a governmental equivalent, in all societies throughout history. While it is true that most religions assign very powerful meaning, definition, and tradition to marriage, it was not until the Early Modern Period, in Europe, that the Marriage Ordinance of Geneva was written to impose “The dual requirements of state registration and church consecration to constitute marriage”. This is the first time in recorded history that marriage and state were joined, and it set a very powerful precedent that we have yet, in America, to overcome. Most of the people of this country are raised in a religion. We are taught that whatever is in the religion is right while all other religions are wrong. We are warned of eternal damnation for acting outside of our religion, and through that fear, we conform. It is that fear that has poisoned our innate human capacity to rationalize what is truly right and wrong. No religion has a monopoly on morals, and no religion has a right above another to impose its will on the masses. Through experience, in Europe, our founders recognized this, and while the provisions for religious freedom were not included in the original Constitution, their absence was quickly recognized as a deficiency, among others, thus the Bill of Rights was created. The Bill of Rights, or the First Amendment, established that:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;[…]”
With that very clear and definite language, it can be safely asserted that any law passed on the sole basis of a religious belief fundamentally challenges this separation of the church and the state. Such a law prioritizes one belief above another, therefore establishing that religion within government. To date, I have not heard of, read about, or otherwise been informed of a reason outside of religious indoctrination to prevent gay people from marrying. There simply is no reason outside of religion to deny this right to gay people.
Why should I change my values to incorporate THEIR lifestyle?
You don’t. It is that simple. Believe what you want to believe. Act how you think you should act. Marry who you feel you should marry. And live YOUR life. I once watched a television talk show, and the topic of that show was gay marriage. The show was put together in such a way that there would be real, emotional, and explosive dialogue. The panel of guests ranged from Gloria Allred to Ordained Conservative Ministers. As you can imagine, the arguments were plenty, the tone was violent, and the rhetoric was powerful. Of course, there was also another element to this show that, I thought, was very clever. The audience was stacked. On one side of the audience were people that classified themselves as “conservative” while the other side was classified “liberal.” What was especially powerful in one segment of the show was a question asked by a liberal panel guest to a female conservative audience member. The question was “How does their marriage (pointing to a same-sex couple seated in the liberal section of the audience) affect your life?” The woman was frozen. She could not answer the question. I challenge any that read this to come up with an answer. I do not believe that it is possible. In short, gay marriage only pertains to those that choose to marry a same-sex partner. (Note that I am not saying that being gay is a choice, but marriage, however, in any circumstance is a choice… I felt compelled to clarify that.) All others should quietly and simply keep their mind and their mouth focused on their own affairs. Period.
In summary…
and as succinct as I can make it, the government cannot pass a law that either:
- Restricts the rights of any citizen of the United States
- Establishes a religion within government
Any law passed that restricts marriage on any group blatantly violates those two rules and by definition is unconstitutional.
All I ask anyone to do is look at this issue from the perspective of the law, the constitution, and the appropriate relationship of religion and government, which is none. I am not asking anyone to change a belief. All I am asking to keep the scope of your beliefs to yourself and any immediate appropriate parties. Leave the rest of us to our own beliefs.
-=Brett=-
A Three Course Update… :)
Posted by bretthperkins on August 24, 2010
My oh my!!! Have I been busy!!! The last few weeks have been quite interesting, busy, and full of change. <sarcasm> Apparently, I do not like it when things stay too consistent. </sarc>
Where to begin? Me, of course!!! I have been quite relaxed with myself when it comes to diet and exercise. As anyone who follows me on Facebook or here on my little site knows, I have struggled with weight, and I continue to struggle. I have to say that the last year has seen the most change for the better than any other year, and I am quite pleased with where I am. I am 50 pounds lighter, and while I have not lost any more weight in the last couple of months, I have not gained anything significant either, so I am content. Honestly… I dropped weight really quickly. It was right at the limits of what is considered healthy weight-loss. I went from obese to moderately overweight (according to the experts that use the incredibly accurate (but pointless) Body Mass Index (BMI)). After going to the gym for 6 months at a frequency of 3 times per week and consuming only lean meats, whole grains, and the occasional sugary coffee (excluding, of course, my now famed “cheat day”), I needed a break. I needed to be flexible with myself. I needed to say, “It’s okay to go out with friends! Eat that pizza! Have some General Tso’s Chicken!” So I did. And naturally, I gained a pound or two… but what I noticed is that, with the exception of pizza, I could not eat like I used to. I couldn’t clean the plate. I was full on less, I enjoyed vegetables more, and I had habits of choosing smarter foods. My food lifestyle had actually changed!!! I am now to the point where I can maintain which means I am no longer afraid to commit to losing the remaining weight. If there is one thing that any once-fat (or once-fatter) person can tell you is that there is one fear above all others that can control your weight destiny: the fear of gaining it all back! Why waste the time, effort, and money on losing weight when you know, or at least think you know, that you will gain every single ounce of it back?! (and then some…) I was happy eating bad food; I loved the taste, smell, and texture of fried chicken, pizza, burgers, Chinese take-out, pasta, burritos, etc… but I was not a happy person when I put on the XXL shirt or size 40 pants. So a choice was made. I want to be a happy person when I look at myself. I think that is more important. Anywho, I am rambling… all this is to say that because I know now that my food lifestyle has been irrevocably altered, I am no longer afraid to commit to the remaining loss because I no longer fear gaining it back. I am now in full control, both consciously and subconsciously. I am at 224 lbs… exactly 50 pounds smaller than I was last November… and I have stayed here since June. Come January 1, I will weight 190 lbs. I have 34 lbs to lose. It is time to get serious and get going.
Next on the menu?? Work! (yay! Food reference!!)
So, I decided to quit Kroll. My last day with them was last Monday, and on last Wednesday, I started working at a small healthcare information service provider named ‘eDoc4u’ which is short for “Electronic Doctor For You.” We offer a service to guide people in making smarter health choices based on information and counsel provided by doctors. Today was day 5 and I have to say that I can already begin to feel the culture shock. It is small… REALLY SMALL… Any given day there are less than 10 people in the office. I am on a team of 2 developers and an architect. I sit two doors down from the CEO and I am so close to the product, clients, and administration that I am both scared and excited by the potential impact I can have on this business. I like what they do… and I love that I am getting in here when they are making long-term decisions on how to do it better!!! I have learned that while I felt overworked and overwhelmed at Deloitte, I really, REALLY liked making a positive change in the direction of that team and that business. When the time came for me to wrap those changes up, and I decided to move to Kroll, I thought that all I wanted was an 8-5 developer job where I worked on various items, tickets, and issues with a team without much visibility into the bigger picture. My main role was not to make an impact… it was to be a part of a team where no one really made an impact. And, for some, that is a great fit… some people enjoy being in the background and love just being a fixture in the process. But that is not me. I want to make a better process, I want to make an impact, and I crave attention. I want to be noticed, I want to make decisions, and I want to lead a team in more than just the “big picture.” I want to build a bigger picture. Now, admittedly, I am not as skilled a software engineer as some of my current and previous colleagues, but what I AM really good at is learning… and I learn quickly. I learn not just the words and the definitions, but the context and the intent. Why as opposed to how; concept instead of syntax. And I love applying those concepts and whys in a way that might challenge the status quo. And when I see that my ideas really make a difference, and I can start achieving success with my ideas, I have a great sense of pride. Not because I “did” something but because I “started” something. I know today that a lot of the ways I did things live on at the Walmart where I was once employed. Workflow and process at Deloitte that I crafted are still being used… and both of those facts make me very happy and proud. And I can’t really say that about my work at Kroll. Sure, I made a good application there that they are still using, but it did not change anything. It did not make things better the same way my changes at the other places made things better, and I think that is why I never really felt at home there. As silly as it seems, I felt right at home at Walmart. I knew the business like no other, and I was good at what I did. At Deloitte, while what we did was new to me at the time, I learned that business quickly and really got good… then I made an impact. I felt truly at home… like I belonged there… like what we did was an extension of me. I did not belong at Kroll. It is too early to tell whether or not I will like what is going on here at eDoc, but I can tell you this: The opportunity to really make an impact on this company is right there for me to take, and I plan on taking that opportunity… and that brings me tremendous comfort. I just hope that the story of “Brett and eDoc” is a collection of books and not just another short-story.
And the final course… (anyone else hungry now?)
Guys… or more specifically one guy. Because this is a public blog, I will keep this pretty generic, but what I will write is that I had one of the best first “dates” I have ever had last night. It was less a real “Will you go on a date with me?” “thing” but after the evening got going, it certainly began to feel that way. While it is too early to tell how I really feel, I can say that there were the beginnings of emotions that I had long forgotten about. He and I went out to dinner, talked a lot, went to get a drink at a café, talked some more, stopped at a hookah bar, talked even more, then took a relaxing stroll at the park, talking still. The things we have in common are too numerous to list, and the universe seemed to approve of the pair. The weather was beautiful, warm with a nice breeze, clean, clear, and quiet. And the end of the night was a moment the likes of which might be seen in a classic Disney fairy-tale (lol… fairy). The evening ended precisely at 12:00 AM with a kiss… as the bells at Vanderbilt rang in the distance.
And that is all I got. That should get you up to speed with me and where I have been the last few weeks since my last post.
I am looking forward to this weekend… several close friends and I are planning a trip to Gatlinburg. Can’t wait!!!
Posted in Commentary, Diet, Friends, Health, Thought, Work | 1 Comment »