He’s there.  Looking at me.  His eyes say so much more than words could ever express.  The sadness, the despair, yet somehow, behind the fog there is such happiness and light.  I can’t figure him out.  How can he look at me with such guilt and at the same time, with such blame.  He’s angry.  Furious.  But why?  He knows what I go through.  He’s been there the whole time.  He should understand.  He doesn’t.  Yet at the same time, how is it possible for him not to?  I want so much to talk to him.  To ask him how he feels, and how he would do things different, but that’s insane.  I can’t speak to him any more than I can speak to an idea or a dream.  The impulse to speak overpowers me, and I begin.  I yell.  I ask why?  I want an explanation, but he can’t offer one.  How is it that he can’t?  If anyone knows how I feel, HE should.  I continue to yell, to scream, but he just stands there, mocking me.  In frustration, I punch him.  That. . .  was a mistake.  I watched as the shattered pieces of the mirror fell to the ground, and wept as I cradled my broken hand.

Posted on my Myspace blog on May 31, 2007.

-=brett=-

Lost in the moment as I looked around
At what I’ve been missing, and what I have found
The memories flood from a place I once knew
This forgotten friend never stopped being true

With arms opened wide, I felt an embrace
As all of my tears were wiped from my face
The harshness and cold that made up my soul
Replaced with fulfillment, at last I was full

For the first time in years, I really felt good
With beautiful sound around where I stood
I was lost in the moment as I looked around
I am no longer missing.  For here I am found

What happened to your focus, your drive, and your ambition?

You have your sexy car, but babe, it’s missing its transmission.

How do you think you’re gonna get from where you are to there?

With something that lacks meaning:  two lungs that can’t breathe air.

It makes no sense, you’re so damn dense.  You fail to comprehend!

That all this shiny extra stuff is really just pretend.

And when you leave and see this world for what is really there,

I hope that you will have the strength to glance beyond the stare.

Coming back at you from the mirror as you look toward the wall

And smile at the shirt you bought, before you knew that all

Is nothing more than the shirts you buy, or dancing with that guy

Before you know it, time is gone, and you’ll have to say good bye,

And walk into your home, alone, and cry yourself to sleep.

Because you know that your whole life all you have been is cheap.

How do you think you’re gonna get from where you are to there?

Your life, your goals, they’re all gone now.  I know.  It isn’t fair.