Today, I did a little more work on the site before getting REALLY frustrated at my keyboard.  My keyboard has these really cool looking “tough/heat sensitive” buttons on the top for the function keys, you know F1, F2, etc…  and, until now, that has been fine, but now that I am REALLY working on this computer, I am finding that they are not that great.  My pinkies like to float at the top of the keyboard and if they get close enough to the buttons, they cause all kinds of havoc…  I can’t have that, so I went out on a quest to get a keyboard…  and look at desks.  The current placement of my desk is also becoming problematic.  I never really WORKED at this desk before, and now that I do, I realize that having the displays positioned they way they are is not the best.  Sure it looks great, but with them being so far away, and so high, it is difficult to read, sometimes.  So I am searching for a replacement.  I have a lot of things in mind, but I am not sure what I will end up with yet.  Anywho…  shopping ate up much of my day, and I was not even able to really do my Sunday routine of laundry and grocery shopping.  I did some of my laundry, but not all…  alas, the title of this blog.  Three Day Weekends are AWESOME.  I can just do it tomorrow!!

Tonight was fun, I had pizza for like the first time in 2 weeks.  It was amazing.  I kinda feel like crap, now, though.  My body is not used to all the grease.  I watched some T.V. with Medardo and Eric, and they were being playful…  *vomit*  and that is about it.  Going to go post pics now.  Ciao!

-=brett=-

Carolyn –

Carolyn is getting better, which is good news indeed. But it is different this time because Dad actually called us all to tell us that she was there. It is, of course, not her first stint in the hospital. She has been there many times before with various “smoking-related” health problems. She is a smoker and over the last few years, it has all caught up with her. Usually, Dad just takes her to the hospital, they stay for a bit, she gets better, and they come home. Dad usually doesn’t even call us (my siblings and I), as I suppose he feels like it is not that serious (Although, I would prefer he call, regardless of severity, but that is another entry). This time, though, he did call, which leads me to believe that these visits are becoming more serious… and I don’t handle loss and death very well. I will not remark on fortune thus far in life, for good luck’s sake… I will just leave it at my dislike for loss. Anywho… back to now: She is doing better, after a scary Saturday night… Dad told me this morning that she may be able to come home on Thursday. He asked me to help get the house ready for her, and to get some things together to occupy her time and mind because this time, coming home also means no more smoking. He is settled and convicted to making sure that Carolyn actually QUITS smoking. NOW. To this effort, I pledge my support unconditionally. And for all those that read this, and have any direct interaction to Carolyn’s life, I am asking for your commitment as well. There are several smokers in the family, and it may be very easy to say “Okay” if Carolyn asks for a cigarette, or even just a puff. Please honor Dad’s wishes and say no, and accept my sincerest gratitude in advance. For the other smokers in the family… I am asking you to reconsider the choice to continue. I am SO grateful that my Mom decided to quit year ago. There is no way of knowing how things would have turned out had she not, but my belief is that things are better. I do not want to see another person for whom I care suffer they way Carolyn is now, and I can probably safely bet that everyone else feels the same way. I feel myself getting close to my “Stop-Smoking” soap-box, so I digress. We all know the outcome. I just pray that informed decisions are made.

Moving onto other things:

Sharp-Blogger: Is WELL underway. I created the database over the weekend and began the creation of the Stored Procedures to retrieve and send data to the Database. For those reading this with limited knowledge of Database Design, think of a Stored Procedure as a “door” and the database as a building with many rooms. To get into a building’s room, you have to use a door. Data is stored in the various “rooms” and “doors” must be built to every room in order to enter or exit. Once this is done, I will be able to build the actual content code to accept and display data from the Website. My goal is to complete the stored procedure creation by the week’s end. Then, I will take the weekend to build the code layers and content logic. Once that is done, I will begin the website design. I am SUPER-EXCITED about this site, although I am detecting more complexity than I anticipated. Luckily, the world today has a wealth of information on the Internet… and I am able to look up how people solve their problems and incorporate their solutions. Of course, the plan is to also document my methods as well, so I can afford the next developer the same privilege as my predecessors.

The Audition: for “Nashville in Harmony” is tomorrow at 7:40 P.M. and I am REALLY excited about that too. Of course, with Sharp-Blogger, I doubted if I should continue with the plans to join this musical group. I juggled it in my mind, and I decided that I should. There is something dangerous about having a hobby, Sharp-Blogger, that consumes too much time. I could potentially burn-out and/or lose interest… which puts the project at risk. This group will give me the time away from Sharp-Blogger that I anticipate I will need. Plus, I like to sing, and am very rewarded by that, as well as writing programs… so it is a win-win!

Balance: Like I said in the last paragraph, I just have to really make sure that I am keeping my ADHD-like mind hopping. So bouncing between movies with friend, Sharp-Blogger, Work, and Singing, I should be OK to NOT burn out. Just gotta keep the cycle going… and get BACK to the Gym!!

And, that is about all that is on my mind. Work continues to be a wash, so I keep learning and doing what I can. Maybe soon, I will be given more to do here, not that I am complaining.

-=brett=-

A Look Back :: What Made 2009 So Great –

· Promotion at Deloitte: The year began with a move up for me at my previous job. It really was, in my opinion, quite an accomplishment to move up as quickly as I did at Deloitte. Granted, I have since moved on to other things, but I am still quite proud of what I did there.

· Wicked: I went up to Indianapolis to visit Tai and see the Musical Wicked. It is an amazing show, and I recommend seeing it if you have not already. I also had a great trip up to see Tai in Indy.

· American Idol: In the summer, Eric and I took a road trip to Orlando, Florida to audition for American Idol. It was a fantastic trip full of nothing but happiness and leisure. It wsa a HUGE break from my, then, stressful job. We met some incredible people, I met Eric’s friend Charlon, and we got to sing… in front of thousands of people. (Sort of).

· Epcot Center: On the trip to Orlando, I finally got to go to Disney World. I had never been, and I have still not been to a big chuck of Disney World, but I did get to go to Epcot with Eric, Charlon, and a couple of other friends. It was great!

· Moving in with Eric: I love David and Daniel like brothers. We lived together for about 6 years. That is a huge deal to me and they will forever be a part of my life… but the time was right for us to take our separate paths. Daniel has moved in with his partner Vinny and David has moved on to his own place. They are both doing very well. I do not want to live alone, so Eric and I, after talking about it for several years now, have finally moved in together. And I couldn’t be happier. We are such a perfect match and living together has, so far, been nothing but awesome!

· New Townhome: Moving out from the 3 bedroom townhome into a 2 bedroom was SUCH a great move! I got a bigger room, the place is nicer, decorated, and it just feels like home! It is in the same compex as my old place, but in a different section. I love that townhome, and I know that Eric and I will be there for at least another year.

· New Job at Kroll: I know that the first thing on this list is a promotion at my previous employer, but that is only one thing. I have since moved into a new job with career aspirations that are incompatible with the entity at Deloitte to which I was affiliated. So moving to this spot, for me, makes the absolute most sense. I am still very excited and forward looking into this job, and hope that it turns into several years of good work, a path up, and happy times!

· Weight Loss: I started thinking about my weight again last year in December… I even wrote a letter to myself. But, I did not have the discipline to follow through with a weight plan. Well, that is all different now. I have lost 23 pounds and still counting. I look better than ever and I am really excited about the coming year.

· Figuring Out More About Me: I am complex… and in that complexity comes ambiguity and question. I still did no really KNOW who I was… and to be honest, I think that I will continue to change and figure things out until I am gone… but I really starting thinking about who I REALLY am and what REALLY matters to me. I became a bit more focused on myself than I have ever been before, and you know?! It has really made a huge difference. I am still a considerate friend, but I am out for ME now. No one else!!! My friend Deana put it best when talking to her husband about a difficult situation. She told him that “I love you, but I love me more.” And that is SUCH a profound thing to say and realize. I had to learn to LOVE me more. And to be honest, I think that because of that, this year has been SO great!!!

A Look Forward :: What To Expect From 2010 –

Honestly… I haven’t the foggiest idea what to expect. I learned long ago that expectations are quite the paradox. They are good and they are bad, they are right and they are wrong… and sometimes, expectations are the HARDEST things to manage. Life is not scripted, and not everything is planned in advance. You can never know what will happen, nor should you. So with that in mind, I look into the next year with excitement and wonder. I hope that 2010 will be as great, if not greater, that 2009.

With that, I close out this year on bretthperkins.com. I am working on a decade retrospective, but I won’t have that ready for a few more days… so look for that.

I hope that everyone reading this has a safe and memorable holiday today, and if you choose to drink or otherwise party, please use good judgment and be safe! The last thing anyone wants is for 2010 to begin with tragedy.

May the new year bring happiness and good fortune to you all.

-=brett=-

Mom work – After I left work, I headed to mom’s where she made some left-over turkey and we had some broccoli and cheese.  It was good.  I am back on my diet starting today.  I kinda cheated ALL of last week… but it was Christmas.    I will likely cheat a little this week…  so I am going to prepare and allow for that.  But next week:  NO CHEATING!  kk.  Anywho, after dinner, we took down her Christmas stuff and packed it up.  I also played with the dog, Max.  Poor Max, though… he was playing outside the other day when his leash got caught around a bird bath, and the bird bath fell on his foot.  Staci, my sister, is going to take him to the vet tomorrow, I am sure he is fine, but he will NOT put his back paw on the ground, so he hobbles on 3 legs. It was cute when I came in, though, because Max was all happy, he grabbed his ball, and came to play, but then he remembered that he had a hurt foot, dropped the ball, and started whimpering.    Anywho, Staci came by with her daughter and husband to grab Max, my mom was dog-sitting.  Then I came home.

Dad work – After that, I spent about an hour on the phone with my dad.  His printer stopped working after I upgraded his computer to Windows 7.  Anywho, that is about all.  Eric and I are watching Disney’s UP.  It is SUCH a great movie!!! 

On second thought… I think that I will go back to doing nothing… if only I could. 

-=brett=-

Today was fun!  I woke up late, which for me is just 8:00… but it was nice! Did some stuff on the computer, watched some TV, then headed out to Hardees to grab some breakfast.  Yum!  I finished wrapping up some stuff then headed to Mom’s.  I got there and she and I swapped gifts.  I got her a new TV for the office and she got me Band Hero!  I can’t wait to play it!  I have Rock Bands 1 and 2 but Band Hero has MUCH better songs!!   After that, I headed to my Dad’s where we swapped gifts and visited a bit… and I installed Windows 7 on their computer.  After a bit of chit chat, I headed back to Mom’s to help her finish up the food and pack up to go to my sister’s.  We always go to my sister’s for dinner where the various families all get together and visit, have dinner, and swap gifts.

I look forward to the holidays and birthdays because it is the only time our family really gets together, and my family has always gotten along very well.  I love spending time with them, playing games, playing with my 8 nieces and nephews, and just visiting.  I love my family, and I have always loved how close we all are…  Unfortunately, some situations earlier in this year have challenged that closeness and I am having a really difficult time. I hope that everyone can find the strength to forgive what needs to be forgiven, forget what is not worth remembering, and find comfort that beyond any situation, we are a family and we all love each other.

Anywho… back to the day.  I got my little niece Isabella (Ryan and Amber’s daughter) some My Little Pony stuff and she was SO excited!  My sister Staci and her husband Doug have 4 kids, all of the age that I really don’t know what they would want, or what store they would shop, so I went with Visa gift cards.  That always works!   I got my other nephews Dawson and Landon (Vance and Julie’s) various toys of the stuff they are into (Pokemon and Bakugan), and they’re baby brother got some clothes.  The grown-ups (my brothers, sister, and their significant others) do dirty santa and I scored an Outback gift card. Woo!  My mom made me wait until we did gifts at my sister’s before I opened the other gift from her.  She got me art from an elephant!!!  This super cool elephant actually PAINTED this art!!!  It’s so cool!  I have been wanting something to hang over my desk at home, so this will be PERFECT!

I am looking forward to this weekend, I am taking my Christmas money to Target and getting a Keirug coffee maker.  I am SO excited.

Saturday is Opry, jerrica, and Tribe.  Can’t wait! 

-=brett=-

!! O.M.G. Alert !! – Romano’s Macaroni Grill was TERRIBLE last night!!! – We got there and well, you know how it goes… we were seated, and the server took a drink order. The bread was brought to the table pretty quickly, and well, that was ok. Then the night started going south. Fast. We discussed what we were going to order, and Victoria asked me about some appetizers and if they would be good for an entrée. To that I said that the cheese sticks were good… and you get a lot. We all continued discussing the menu before ordering. The server guy was OK, I suppose. Nothing special, nothing bad… just OK. He took our order and then after what seemed like an eternity, the food finally came out. Remember when Victoria asked about the cheesesticks and I told her that they were good and that you get a lot? Well… They must have changed the menu because the cheesesticks she got were SAD… If memory serves, the last time I got cheesticks there, there were like 6 of them, and they were HUGE. Yeah, not anymore. For an Appetizer, your party gets to share a whopping 2, yeah folks, I said that right… TWO (2) cheesesticks. What the eff kind of place gives you 2 cheesesticks?! Anywho… that was not all. Jerrica and I ordered the lasagna. I thought it was good the last time I got it, and she wanted to try it. Now… I get that sometimes in a restaurant setting the portions don’t always come out the same way, even with the same entrée. I get it. But the lasagna that we ordered… were 2 completely different sizes. Her portion looked like it could have been my portion’s little baby brother. It was ridiculous. So Jerrica commented to the server that it was quite obviously a difference in the sizes of the portions, and that she was not happy. Of course, Jerrica was not mad or bitchy with him, but kinda half-joking/half-serious, and in the most polite way possible, she brought it up. To that, the server said, and I quote: “Well, it’s the luck of the draw!” *chuckle chuckle*. Then he scurried away. We were dumbfounded. Not only was that NOT funny, he COMPLETELY did not address a REAL issue. Come on, it is not rocket science. Portions should be comparable. Sheesh… anywho, I digress on the lasagna… Eric ordered this Alfredo Pasta stuff, and he said his tasted like crap… and well, the food experience was just not where it usually is at Macaroni Grill. We expected better. To top it off, though… when he brought out the checks, they included a “suggested tip”. Now, I understand and accept that some parties of “[insert number here] or more” are usually charged a standard gratuity and that it is automatically included in the bill. I have NO issue with that. At Macaroni Grill, it is a bit different. They suggest a tip, then say that you can “increase or decrease the amount” as you see fit. So, with the server being a douche and the food being sub-par, I was not inclined to give a good tip. So I wasn’t… until I saw the checks. The jack-ass actually WROTE his tip in for us. Can you believe that?! Like I said, if the system puts it on there because of some kind of rule, that is one thing, but this place does not have that rule… I found it completely RUDE to write your tip in when one is not mandated! It’s bad enough to leave a little tip, but what he did would have made me REALLY look like an ass because I would have had to scribble his tip out to make a new, lower tip. I just said to hell with it and signed. I didn’t care anymore at that point. Then… after he took the checks and brought back the receipts… He vanished. You know, sometimes, people like to just sit around after a meal and talk. Dinner service does NOT stop after the checks are taken. No refills, no more bread, NOTHING happened after we paid. I have received better service at a White Castle. This was total crap. I know that I will not be going back to that place for SOME time. On the plus side, though… as usual, the bread was OFF THE CHAIN!!! I really LOVE their bread. kk. !! END O.M.G !!

Where was I? Oh… I know: To my surprise, I was informed that Jerrica was going to join us. I got SO excited!!! It’s been like 6 months sense we have all hung out, so it was really nice to see her! We caught up some and cemented our plans for this Saturday. Her mom is making her kick-ass meatloaf, so we are going to go there for dinner, then hit Tribe after. Can’t Wait!!! It has been SO long since I have gone out!

I am still liking work. Still going through code tutorials… and I am hoping they will start tasking me with defects and bugs soon. I want to learn SO much!!!

I think that I am going to go through my music at home. I bought a new iPod, and in the process of getting everything into iTunes, I have discovered that my music is terribly unorganized and I have all kinds of duplicates. Gotta fix that!

See you later!

-=brett=-

I am going through a bit of an internal crisis…  Its nothing really personal, just kind of… i don’t know.  I can’t really explain it.  I know that it originates with work.  I walk into work wondering what happened.  Even on the shittiest days at Walmart, I was still happy, somewhat, to be there.  I never really “loathed” it there.  Where I am now, though… I honestly loathe.  I walk in to this repugnant odor of disorganization, miscommunication, dread, and despair.  No one wants to be there… and no one wants to care.  Its unlike anything that I have ever felt or experienced.  It goes far beyond just the “growing pains” being felt by our group and this part of the company.  There is more.  Something darker, something calculated; designed.  I don’t want any part of it.  Unfortunately, I have never really worked in this kind of atmosphere, so I have no good frame of reference, but if this is any indication of the “corporate world” then I say no thanks.  I am not, however, going to give up that easily.  I have never really been one to make impulsive decisions…  Hell, I plan doing laundry!!  So what I am going to do is find another place to try to further my career.  That being said, I recognize that there may be a potential for strong success at my current job, which introduces much doubt in the decision to leave.  I just don’t know.  Its the classic “Damned if I don’t, Damned if I do” scenario.  The good news is that I have learned and experienced SO much that I know that my next job will be a piece of cake!   Ah… cake…  Moving on…

Another layer to my increasing discomfort for my career choice is my other talent.  I grew up singing.  That is something at which I really excelled; I miss it tremendously.  I have, increasingly, begun singing again.  And I want to make that a permanent place in my life.  Granted, it already is… but I want it to have a place and an outlet that goes beyond the shower or the car…  or Wii’s American Idol Karaoke Revolution in the Living Room.  It is somewhat of a passion for me and a part of me that I have neglected for so long that it is slamming at me from the inside with a sledge hammer.  I just want to sing…  and sing alot!   Moving on…

So here I am.  Still in a fog.  Still walking around on some kind of involuntary auto-pilot.  Sometimes I feel like I am not even me.  Like someone else is driving, and I am just the transportation.  The motivation to act, to drive, to get up in the morning for work is not my own.  With one exception:  When I go to the gym, that is me.  I feel like me!!  I look in the mirror and I smile.  I am so proud that, for once in my life, I am really doing something for me – something with meaning.  It makes me incredibly happy.  That is really all I want from life.  Just to be happy.  I have all the reasons in the world to be happy!  A great family, amazing friends, an education, and a path in life, yet here I am.  Not really all that happy.  I am getting there, yes… and I believe that all of my inner turmoil is just my soul’s way of telling me that it is time to begin striving for my happiness.  And I shall.  I have to keep it up, make the changes, and really focus on who I want to be.  I have to let go to all that has me down and begin the process of… Moving on…

-=brett=-

I have no clue what brought on this lil trip down memory lane, but it is what it is.  Maybe I hope that one day, someone from then will stumble across this blog and I can reconnect with some of my past…  Who knows.  For the record, though, I really miss you guys.  A lot.

-=brett=-

I am meeting Randy for dinner tomorrow night, which should be fun…  I actually enjoy talking with him one-on-one as he loses that silly ditzy thing that he does and we actually have good conversation.  So that will be great.  Carl and I are putting together some celebratory plans for Friday night which, if they are anything like our night at Beale Street in Memphis, should prove to be very, very fun.  We’re gonna celebrate our new careers and graduation.  Its a little late, but we wanted to wait until he and I, as well as a few other ppl that we graduted with actually started their jobs.  I plan on inviting Eric and whoever else wants to go, we’re going to have a good time. 

I guess that is all…  I am not feeling to well so I will prolly finish up my De-homework and call it a night.

-=brett=-