- The Sprinter – The driver that, when the right lane is merging into the lane to its left (you know, after a highway entrance ramp or something) likes to sprint passed all of the cars already in the interstate lane, then try to cut left into the moving traffic.
- The Left Turn Failure – This is the driver that, although there is a median lane from which turns can be made, stays in the flowing traffic lane to turn left, forcing every other driver to stop and wait for them.
- The Lane Schizophrenic – This driver has many lanes and cannot figure out which lane to choose, so he/she switches lanes, unpredictably… and typically without a turn signal.
- The Turtle – The driver that gets in the far left lane on a 70 MPH highway and travels at less than 70 MPH.
- The Rabbit – The driver that, regardless of the lane, is travelling at over 20 MPH above the posted speed limit.
- The Dog – This is a driver that not only speeds (see rabbit), but when forced behind you in your lane with no other way out, decides to ride so close to you that you believe that a dog is behind the wheel and he/she is merely saying “hello.”
- The Cat – This is a driver that cannot stand rain, and is completely paralyzed when the road is wet, even slightly. They slow to a crawl (slower than the turtle, even!) and turn on the hazard lights for extra caution. Cause, you know, we can’t see their SUV through the sprinkle.
- The Sunday Driver – Have you seen [insert road name here]?
- The Road Rager – We all know this driver. No matter what, they believe that every other driver is on the road with the sole purpose of pissing them off. So they are mad. All the time. Typically, the can be seen hiding behind a middle finger.
- The Makeup Artist – Typically a female, they are seen mouth wide open with a stick of eyeliner, mascara, and/or lipstick staring deep into the mirror while their car is A) Running off of road or B) Running into another lane.
Gosh, I could probably go on for hours!!! Feel free to comment and add your own. :) Drive Safely.
-=brett=-
